• Don’t put your elbows on the table when eating!
• Don’t talk with food in your mouth!
• Chew with your mouth closed!
• Don’t begin eating until everyone is served!

But now that the summer is over, everything returned to “normal” and table manners has never come up again.

Caroline said that they were learning manners because the group was going out to a restaurant to eat and the counselors wanted to make sure that the kids learned the basic rules of eating out.

What a good idea. But it only good if we parents and grandparents continue to remind our kids what good manners is all about.  

Do we share the basics like how to properly use a fork and knife? Put a napkin in your lap? Eat small portions so that your mouth isn’t stuffed?

My grandmother use to take my brother and I out…separately. She took me to The Plaza on 5th Avenue in Manhatten where we had tea and small sandwiches. We went to Bergdorf Goodman’s and enjoy a drink and something small to eat while fashion models walked around the tables with the latest clothes. We never brought anything ,but my grandmother showed me how to act like a “lady.”

For my brother it was a different story. He went out with my mom, aunt AND my grandmother. He had to hold the door for them, pull out the chairs at the table and make sure he used the right fork, spoon an knife with each course. He definitely got a workout.

Although we have become a very informal society where women no longer wear white gloves and hats, etiquette and manners still makes a difference.  Take advantage of those small teachable moments like when you serve dinner everyone should wait until you have been served and are seated before they begin eating.

Hope you have a etiquettely wonderful day.

It is like saying “I know history. I am sure I can write a great historical novel.” Then you think of the 15,000 words  you would have to produce, and then you realize that it is a daunting task. But young children’s books, which average 32 pages and maybe 25 to 50 words a page seems more manageable.

The problem is, if you are thinking that, then so are thousands of other “wanna-be” authors.

Hopewell Junction writer Karen Kaufman Orloff  was one of those “wanna-bes” . “I have been writing for over 20 years,” says Karen, “since my children were babies. I remember reading story books to the kids and thinking ‘I could write stories for kids.’ But once I got into it, I realized it’s a lot harder than it looks.”

It took Karen ten years before she published her first book I Wanna Iguana with the G. P. Putnam publishing group.

But Karen was different from many other writers. She decided to learn the book business. “I attended conferences, took classes, met other authors,” she said,  “and then I submitted my stories to publishers.”

She experienced rejections. Many of them. Karen, who now has four books published, says, “You really need a thick skin.” Even now that she is published she still gets those nasty rejection letters. She says one of the secrets to this book business is perseverance.

“When I first started I would think of cute rhymes… no stories, just a list of fun things. But I learned that I needed a really good, solid beginning, a climax and an ending,” says Karen.

As a teacher in junior high school, I remember teaching kids these same techniques. But after years of not drumming this into our head, we get sloppy. We need to refine our skills whether it is for the historical novel or a children’s book. The same rules apply.

Karen shares  this advice for writers who are working with picture books: You need to understand the visual image you’re creating. It is a 32 page book. Each page must be a different scene. You need to create different visual scenes with your words to sustain the reader.

She  also suggests using humor or some type of emotional connection that tugs at the heart.

 “How do you know if your story has merit?  It is like your baby whom you really love. Share it with others. (In this case it would be writer friends.) It is good to get other people’s opinions. People you trust. Other good writers.

Karen says to remember that sometimes your manuscript gets rejected not because it is not well written, but because it is not a topic of interest for that publisher at that time or they have already published something similar.  

I have published two books by Middletown author Gloria Zawaski. Learn about some of my experiences.

http://theundercoverkids.wordpress.com/2010/02/17/how-a-book-is-born-the-independent-book-stores/

Meet author Karen Kaufman Orloff.  With four children’s picture books under her belt she has enough experience to give those of us who dream about being published authors the inside scoop. After graduating college with a degree in English, journalism and publishing, Orloff became an editor for a Manhattan magazine group. She currently is a columnist for the Poughkeepsie Journal.

“I have been writing for over 20 years,” says Orloff. “Since my children were babies.

“I remember reading story books to the kids and thinking I could write stories for kids. But once I got into it, I realized it’s a lot harder than it looks.”

It took Karen ten years before she published her first book I Wanna Igwana with the G. P. Putnam publishing group.

“It was a fluke,” says Orloff.  She went to a conference armed with her manuscript.  The Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrator’s offered one-on-one sessions with editors. The rest is history. Then and there, the editor was interested in acquiring the story.  “That was the best money I ever spent,” says Orloff.  I Wanna Igwana has been nominated for 16 awards since it was first published in 2004. In fact, she was given an all expense trip to Nebraska to make a presentation about her book.

5  common misconceptions writers have?

1. If I write a good story it will get published
2. It is easy to get published
3. Must use rhyming for easy reader children’s books
4. Writing is a great way to earn a living.
5. You must get an agent to get published.

 “I see many well written stories,” says Orloff. “But they are stories that have been around forever. It is critical that the story be unique. Some stories are way too long, or too adult in their theme or use of language.

 According to Orloff, you must have a thick skin to get published. And even now that she is a published author, Orloff still gets rejection letters. “Putnam rejected the manuscript for If My Mom Had Three Arms. The book finally found a home at Sterling Publishing and was published in 2004. Good luck follows Orloff. Sterling was bought by Barnes & Noble and now she has the benefit of their extensive distribution network.

In terms of rhyme, the author says that good rhyme is very hard to create. That is one of reason she suggests only using that technique is you a really good. She sees lines that don’t rhyme or meters that are off.  She emphasizes that rhyme must be good rhyme to work.

 According to Orloff, you shouldn’t count on quitting your current job if you need this money to pay your rent and put food on your table. Advances can run between $3,000 to $5,000 but getting two books published a year is considered good.  Even with royalties the money accumulates very slowly.

 Orloff does not have an agent and even as a published author she would have a hard time finding one.

There are so many writers now writing for the young market that it is very hard to capture the attention of an agent. So learn the industry and go it on your own.

 Her one word of advice? Persevere!

Want to learn more from this seasoned professional? Attend her upcoming class now forming.

“Early in the next millennium your right and left cuff links or earrings may communicate with each other by low-orbiting satellites and have more computer power than your present PC…the digital planet will look and feel like the head of a pin.

As we interconnect ourselves, many of the values of a nation-state will give way to those of both larger and smaller electronic communities. We will socialize in digital neighborhoods in which physical space will be irrelevant and time will play a different roll.”

This was published in 1995…sixteen years ago.

 I was so fascinated by rereading Negroponte’s book I went online to see what other pronunciations he may suggest. And there it was… “The physical book will be dead in five years.” He shared this bombshell at the August 6, 2010 Techonomy conference in Lake Tahoe, CA.  

Over the past three years, I have worked with author Gloria Smith Zawaski, publishing our first children’s book called The Trunk in the Attic. We are about to print our second book in the series called Mongolia Bound. Our purpose is to introduce kids to other kids around the world, first Holland and now Mongolia. The series helps kids learn from other kids’ adventures. But I now think I have to consider another way of delivering the information, one that will be meaningful to this new generation of youngsters who may no longer use books as I did.

 This revelation really hit me when Eliot and Amy took to me to this huge used book warehouse in Washington, DC.   I looked at the 1,000s of books surrounding me and realized that I was looking at the death of an industry as I know it.  

It’s time to embrace the new ways and see how to make this online system of sharing information and books a more encompassing way of learning.

 For someone like me who loves books and the written word, catching up is not going to be easy. Not only do I have to stop thinking linearly but have to learn new skills. Who will I turn to in order to learn how the new computer widgets work?

There are certain community events that encourage this type of imaginative play. Tomorrow, May 15th, there will be a “Fancy Nancy Fashion Show and Storytelling” event at the Albert Wisner Public Library in Warwick. Put on your favorite outfit and visit the library for a dressy show. Hear a story, make a craft, and enjoy a snack. For ages 3-6. Starts at 1:30pm. Keep on the lookout for more events like this. Even if you don’t find any other dress up events locally, try to make a storytime/dress up night of your own at home. It really helps bring books to life.